Thursday, 21 April 2016
Wednesday, 20 April 2016
UK Scientists CONFIRM President Mugabe can’t DIE! He was born to live FOREVER!
|President Robert Mugabe|
Mugabe, the famed political guru brought to Earth to wear black suits and rule with an iron fist has been the president of Zimbabwe since 1980. Many came and passed on, but Mugabe is still reigning with energy and might.
It was said in 1999 that the now 92 year old Zimbabwean president does not need to go to the gym or eat veggies to stay healthy. He was born to live forever.
People started believing this as pictures of him from the eighties and the seventies were brought forward to prove that he basically still looks the same after decades.
Billions of dollars were then invested into researching Mugabe’s condition and scientists recently came out to say that they have concluded that they could not find any sign of decay in his DNA.
They have taken DNA samples from his clothes, facecloth, toothbrush and hairbrush, and they have for years run tests but could not find any sign of mortality in the man.
People have also said that he uses his walking stick as a disguise, He does not really need it.
While we could not get a comment from the Zimbabwean government at the time of writing this satirical piece, Morgan Tsvangirai, Leader of the MDC however rubbished these findings, stating that Mugabe is just a man like everyone else. He also stated that Mugabe is a mortal person, not an ageless creature of smoke, silk, and sweet, sweet funk. Adding to the revelations that the 92-year-old’s body is just a collection of bones and tissues like any other.
“We have never seen anything like this. At first we could not believe it, but after running a series of tests, we then realized that Mugabe is really immortal” said Dr. Irvin Koch, the lead scientist in this research.
The research will go on until 2018 or until the program runs out of funds.
This makes it clear now that Mugabe will rule forever. We are just not sure if this is good or bad news to the people of Zimbabwe.
Tuesday, 19 April 2016
Will Caitlyn Go Through With Gender Confirmation Surgery?
Dr. Bowers explained the surgery for both Caitlyn and TV viewers who are confused about what's involved. "Everything that a man has a woman has as well," she said. "Really, that's the basis of the surgery. Is that embryologically, there is a transition from female anatomy to male anatomy. When you're doing the reverse, you simply undo all those steps."
Caitlyn asked if her "sexual experience" would still be the same, and Dr. Bowers confirmed that the "vast, vast majority" of people are still able to orgasm because — as Caitlyn explained — "the clitoris is the head of the penis."
So, will Caitlyn go through with gender confirmation surgery? It's unclear. "I have no idea what the future holds, but it is really interesting to talk about this issue," she said.
Checking in on Scott Disick
The Lord is back! Scott Disick spent the day decorating for the holidays with Caitlyn, and he got real about his sobriety after his split with Kourtney Kardashian and stint in rehab. "I'm obviously not drinking or doing drugs," he said. "So, I'm just alone with my thoughts every night, and it's tough."
Scott also told Caitlyn that he hopes to reconcile with Kourtney. "I think that that would be, like, the dream," he said. "End of the day, I would love to see us work everything out, and be in love again, and watch movies together, and be intimate, and love each other, and be best friends. But I also don't want to just rush into something that doesn't make sense."
Monday, 18 April 2016
|#Black, white and red|
|#Blue and brown|
|#Maroon and cream|
|#Black and blue|
|#Black and grey|
|#Black and red|
|#Red and grey|
|#blue,yellow and black|
Born: September 18, 1975 (age 40), Jos, Nigeria
Occupation(s): Singer-songwriter, record producer, entrepreneur
Labels: Hypertek Digital